The Art of Wearing a Hospital Gown

The very art of wearing a hospital gown is overwhelming for some of us out there...right? I mean the hospital gown has its own cartoons, because they cause so much emotional distress. My daughter had her gallbladder surgery yesterday and as soon as the nurse set the folded hospital gown on the bed, I seen her eyes grow larger, pupils dilate, hands and feet began to sweat and her mouth began to get dry.

You see, she didn't tell me that the night before she had several nightmares about wearing "the hospital gown" for her scheduled gall bladder surgery. The footies they give you to wear... you know the kind that are never a pretty color and have the little treads on the bottom, was enough to send her into a spell of dizziness and frustration. The nurse sets the items on the bed. She leaves the room. My daughter nervously looks at me and says, "Mom do I have to wear the socks?" I told her that she probably would have to. The nurse promptly returns and instructs my seventeen year old daughter, Lindsay, to place the socks on her feet, remove all her clothing, and put the gown on. She looks at me horrified, probably because her boyfriend was in the room and he just heard the instructions as well. So I ask my hubby and her boyfriend to step out so I could help her get the gown on.

 She bravely holds up the gown and states that it will swallow her whole. I told her that it was adjustable and I would make sure to tie it tight. As she slips on the gown and I began to tie the multiple ties all over the gown, she begins to feverishly grab the left side of the front of her gown. "Mom..why would they put this pocket here? It doesn't go anywhere, it only opens up to...no where! Why would they do that? I mean really, what am going to put into this pocket to no where? " she exclaims. I began to laugh and laugh...I couldn't help it! Of course I have had four kids, a broken ankle with severed tendon that had to have surgery, a broken wrist from falling off a roof. An ambulance ride after that incident with a broken tail bone. A car accident with another ambulance ride and hospital visit, so I guess I am a little numb to the "immodest" apparel at the hospital. She blankly looks at me and says.."Mom! Quit laughing!" I told her that I was sorry but it was just too funny! When I got her tucked into her hospital bed and covered with her blankets and sheets, her dad and boyfriend re-entered the room, where I promptly told them how she reacted over the "pocket to no where". Her dad explained to her that it was there for heart monitors and emergency situations so they had easier access during any surgical procedure. She says, "Well I don't know why they had to put that in my gown..its bad enough I was having nightmares about wearing one of these last night!" We all laughed.

The definition of gown by dictionary.com:

A loose, flowing outer garment in any of various forms, worn by a man or woman as distinctive of office, profession. 

Does a hospital "gown" even fall into the same category? I mean really give that one some thought!

I guess the hospital gown story goes to show that laughter is truly a  healing balm in stressful situations. I am so glad that God gave us the power to smile, laugh, laugh with others and laugh at ourselves! I can say that when she came out of surgery, she didn't mind the gown that much...I guess it takes pretty good drugs to make people get their minds off those horrendous, not-so- fashionable gowns that all hospitals so lovingly give the title of gowns! Thanks to God for a successful surgery and thanks to the hospital for the "loose, flowing outer garment" I know my daughter really appreciated it!